The Script

Hello
[customer name]
how may I
[make you go away]?

We apologise for the delay in receiving
[fucking whatever]
but we are currently experiencing
technical difficulties
high call volumes
rolling brownouts
hailstorms
kidney stones
and laser sharp cluster migraines
but please hold on the line
your call is very important
to someone
presumably.

I am so very sorry to hear that
[customer name]
I completely understand your
[human emotion]

The product you have ordered was
out of stock
out of luck
over-sold
under-supplied
discontinued by supplier
discontinued by vendor
mangled in transit
manhandled by customs agents
dumped from the back of a stolen truck
punted from the deck of a stricken ship
pulverized
warped
scorched
and then buried at sea-
would you like a tracking number?

Are you still there
[customer name]?
Are you feeling
[human emotion]?

7 thoughts on “The Script

  1. Dand sometimes, in the middle of all this, we connect with genuine voices, make a connection, share something precious and touch each other’s shared humanity in spite of the mechanism that brought us together…

    making the whole surreal experience both so much more beautiful and so much sadder at the same time.

    Meanwhile, the machine trundles on. Lines are open between…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It’s true. I’ve been on both sides of the customer service system and when you actually make a human connection, it’s kind of mind-blowing. Makes me think about our priorities as a species lol. And thank you for your thoughts as always John

      Liked by 1 person

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