The Midnight Clowder

I talk to your cat
when you’re not home
I talk to your cat
when he’s out to roam
we talk about you
oh yes we do
we gossip and we dish
we bitch and we moan
“They never feed me!”
“I know, I know!”
“Nobody pats me!”
“I know, I know!”
I talk to your cat
we meet up at the pub
I talk to your cat
over our Sunday lunch
we discuss politics
we shoot the breeze
“But I can’t take you home,
I have allergies!”
I talk to your cat
and we make our plans
because people confound me
but your cat understands.


Just to be clear, this poem is just ‘for the lulz’ as the kids would say. I’m not going to abduct anyone’s cat. But I will talk with him or her when we run into each other on the street, and if that makes you ‘totes jelly’, I can’t help you.

18 thoughts on “The Midnight Clowder

  1. Anything about cats concerns me. I don’t have a cat in physical sense, so I wouldn’t worry about the ‘abducting’ part, and you wouldn’t have to worry about the ‘allergic’ bit. Still, I can’t help but perk my ears hearing anyone mentioning cats, and feel totally jelly particularly sensing you’re having such a good time with cats!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thanks again for your thoughts Dot :). I like just about all animals. Sometimes I try to think of an animal I might not like… say, crocodiles! But then I think, what if I had a pet crocodile? A tame one that I raised from a baby (have you seen a baby croc? They make little quacking/chirping noises, its adorable), and I could ride down the street… Suddenly, I don’t dislike crocodiles anymore.
      I’m off on a tangent here. Don’t be jelly (lol) I don’t have an animal of my own at the moment (because I have the emotional stability of a sleep deprived toddler) but I hope to soon. Then I will be happy to entertain you with stories about my cat (or crocodile).

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      1. Let’s picture a grown man riding a crocodile down the street, because he has the emotional stability of a sleep deprived toddler, which makes him sound like a baby crocodile that makes quacking/chirping sounds … How peculiar/bizarre yet interesting/incredible a picture! See, even though you don’t have an animal right now, you can still entertain me!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading Suzanne πŸ™‚ Cats might not be the best listeners but they know how soothing it is when they let us pat them. They understand that its them doing the favour for us in that scenario, not the other way around!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They are very wise that way 😊. My little cat Miss Fred purrs gently and gives me the gift of letting me pat her everyday. She’s pretty great that way. Always a pleasure 😊

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  2. So now I find myself suddenly needing to ride the pet crocodile I don’t have down the street.

    I was hanging with a cool cat just last week. I had gone over to a friend’s house where I used to lodge, basically for some chill/ chat time. He’d arrived as a kitten when I last lived there, and now here he was a dark broody adult cat, sitting on my lap with thar freaky mix of “I am the very coolness of fur, feel my presence” and head-tilting, mewing ” I’m adorable, stroke me!”

    Liked by 1 person

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