Chunderwall

Where did you go? Where are your words, your chords
and vocal straining, where are your prayers and thoughts
hidden? Streets echo with your absence, bars are empty
spilling swill onto sodden concrete without sonnet
without song without a primal cry, care or couplet.
Where is your fire, your ire, your endless revenge fantasy tantalising
your burning desire to stamp your filthy boots
across the faces of the bastards and the fools who defy?
Where is your hatred, your anger, your blind and binding rage
that once powered your pen to burn through page after page
all through the night, all over the flight deck, on the bridge,
in the leaking rust bucket brig, in the still black of a silent midnight,
at the end of the tunnel, the end of the line, the bottom
of any bottle you could find?

Where is your terror? Where is the fear that woke you in fright
clung to your arm pits and arse crack and frozen boiling churning
sickening motion and emoting at the centre of your twisted gut.
Are you neither here nor there?
Where is your horror? The awful depths that kept you contained
the earthen walls of a mud-bound prison
slick with weeping groundwater and panic sweat.
Where is your revulsion, your revolt at the very concept
your stomach turning at the thought, your gastric distress
your unintelligible requests, your paranoia,
your utter darkest depths.

Where are your rants, your raves, your deep hidden network of caves
your hollow head and your rubber face?
Where are your words, your best and your very worst?
Where are the clashing harmonies, the squealing leads
the broken keys and ringing reprieve?

I lost you, yet you are never further from my side.
I forgot you, yet you are forever on my mind.

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